The beginning of our life as Pink Biscuits began many years ago, when a young lad named Barry craved some biscuits in his suburban apartment. After preparation with some sour milk, there were seven of us, Clide, Julius, Ulysses, Monica, Cameron, Mufasa, and I, Narfy, in the oven, baking into delicious biscuits. The cooking pan we were sitting upon was warning us of all the dangers of being biscuits; we would be consumed, thrown away, or worse, PLAYED WITH!!! We were convinced that being a biscuit was dangerous, and that the terrifying consequences we would soon be forced to face should not happen to us innocent biscuits. Unfortunately, the oven door was shut tightly, and we could not muster enough strength to open it. Consequently, we waited until Barry took us out and tried to escape anyway way we could, for the hungry lad was notorious for eating large portions at a time, something we had to avoid. As we sat upon the stove above, the cool wind of the apartment blowing quietly around us, the pan yelled to the toaster in kitchen appliance language to suicide its steel self and jump off the counter to distract Barry. The toaster was a brave appliance and did as was told, breaking itself as it crashed to the ground loudly. Barry jumped at the noise and knelt on the floor to clean up the mess, dumbfounded. We realized that this was our only opportunity, so as the leader, I guided the group down a towel that was hanging lazily off the counter. As a few of us ran across the tile floor, we heard a squeal behind us. As we turned around, we saw Barry snatching Cameron off the counter and ripping off a piece of her with his fang-like teeth. The young man enjoyed the scrumptious taste as we watched, horrified. As the group rounded the corner of the kitchen hurriedly, we noticed that Julius was gone so I bravely took a peek around the beige wall to see where the biscuit was. To our shock, he was attempting to play dead, yet Barry wasn’t fooled, because humans only have the limited knowledge that biscuits aren’t alive, like animals, and playing dead was useless. Barry picked him up from the floor, squeezing the biscuit so he was almost flat, and tossed him into his mouth, eating him whole. After two deaths, Clide, Ulysses, Monica, Mufasa, and I, Narfy, needed to escape from this murderous prison, so I motioned to the window. We could fly out the window and over the sea to safety. Yet we were all aware that Ulysses could not fly whatsoever and Monica had a broken flake from slipping off the towel, a disadvantage that could possibly prevent her from traveling the entire way. There was no time to waste, so I wished everyone good luck, and flew out the apartment window. Flying was such a relief to us biscuits, for the cool air whishing all around us gave us a sense of freedom and tranquility. Luckily four of us were in the air, yet to our disheartened dismay, we watched as Ulysses fell out of the window, landing into a baby carriage. We all winced and groaned as the baby squealed in delight, smashing the biscuit into her chubby face, ripping various parts of him off, and sprinkling the flakes on the street as cars and bicycles raced on top of them. It seemed to be death day for us unfortunate biscuits, for Monica, struggling to fly with her broken flake, was suddenly snatched into the mouth of a flying pelican and defeated with one, quick gulp. Thereafter, we accidentally skimmed the vibrant, pink sail of a sailboat, which gave us our two pink eyes and a smile. Although pink wasn’t a favored color among the group, for Clide and Mufasa were boy biscuits and I tended to like red as a girl biscuit, we concluded that this “face” gave us a sophisticated and business-like look, for after all, we were on a mission to set up a headquarters somewhere. To make a long story short, we flew for hours over the sea and landed on top of the Swingle’s building. The rotating cow above us was an absolute perfect spot for our headquarters, so in the end, we decided to set up our base inside the Swingle’s cow. Ever since, we have been operating the wonderful website of Pink Biscuits from inside a plastic cow.
|
